Mid-January, 2005: Hi Rag Fans. I had finished a blog which will appear in February about the Pledge of Allegiance and those two words that lend controversy to it. However, in the wake of not only a lot of web traffic but other commentary on the beginning shows of the fourth season of American Idol, there were a lot of things that came to mind about correctness, political correctness, honesty, ridicule, musicality, presentation, etc. that I have experienced both as a judge and as a musician. So I simply could not be shut up on this. You, however, could choose to avert your gaze. In any case, even if you do not pay much attention the American Idol show on Fox TV, there may be something of interest to you in this discussion, so hang in there please!

IDOL CHATTER - IS SIMON USUALLY RIGHT? PLUS THE CASE FOR MARY ROACH.

To preface this for the confused - yes, I spend a lot of time with my head inside ragtime and popular music from a century ago. So how can I comment on a show which is designed to find the next 21st century pop star through a process of elimination that sometimes has questionable merit? Because I also perform ragtime regularly, often in front of judges, and because I also have been a judge where public and/or private comments need to be constructive and in good taste no matter how bad the performer was, and since I also listen to and sometimes learn and perform contemporary hits from Maroon5 to the last American Idol, Fantasia, and because I am more or less exposed to the show since the women in my house have it on whenever it is there, I feel somewhat as qualified as any of the judges who they currently have. That is sure to bring comments from you, but I will bolster that case later.

The Show: You can skip to the next paragraph if you already know how AI works. Otherwise, here is a primer. I have long been part of the World Championship of Old-Time Piano Playing held in Illinois each Memorial Day Weekend. Contestants come prepared to play six tunes, and if they make it through the first two rounds of two tunes each with elimination, they will be able to complete that task and win some money and recognition. Nice deal. American Idol does essentially the same thing over 12 excrutiatingly drawn out sessions, where they broadcast both pre-taped and live segments on one night, then allow America (and beyond) to vote by phone for their favorite, and then the following night the one with the lowest vote count is eliminated. Sometimes it works well, sometimes it does not. In any case, at our piano competition we have four musically-trained judges and one general purpose judge and proctor that give a sometimes balanced, sometimes skewed opinion, depending on the day. The system usually works well, however, in spite of infrequent hiccups, and I have long respected the judges in that position. On American Idol there is a similar panel of three static judges and one guest judge who dole out comments in a way to influence Americans.

The Judges: Let me introduce you to them quickly: Many people have little or no clue what Randy Jackson has done. He essentially has been a hit-maker for two decades, has won grammys for his production work in his position as VP of A&R at Columbia records, and also recorded and toured with many major artists, landing himself on over 1,000 award winning records. To the nay-sayers, I say he is very qualified from where he sits, even if he seems wishy-washy at times. Paul Abdul started in a career as a cheerleader for the Los Angeles Lakers, but soon became a major recording artist with a number of hit records. I have often found that musicians who are also not producers or have not done backup work on other artist's albums are not always the best judge of what they are hearing. Sometimes they are. For Paula I have found that depends on the night. And then there is Simon Cowell, who should never be called "simple" by any means. He has been in the hit-making business for 20 years, and an executive at BMG records for at least the past decade, putting out an impressive number of very laudable artists and songs. He has also been at the Idol gig much longer, having started on the UK version of the show, Pop Idol, before coming to America to make an even bigger splash. He is often berated, misunderstood, and correct in his assessments (if not always sensitive), and has the track record to back it up.

The Beef: When I act as a judge for either youth or adult performers, and not just in ragtime or old-time music, I usually have the option to write comments on the score sheets for each performer to take with them. In the space of time alloted on American Idol, I (not known for my brevity) would not be able to give my comments and context and have them make the total picture of my assessment, something that I believe the verbal part of AI suffers from in their one or two sentence encapsulations. So with writing, I have the luxury of giving better perspective. Know that I am also frequently sent new rags, recordings or other ephemera to evaluate and comment on, so I have many years of experience in this. One of my favorite role models for this is Sue Keller, who has both competed with me and more frequently been a judge at competitions I play in. Her comments cover the bases concisely with both issues she had with a performance as well as positive reinforcement. So I have long made certain to include the same in my comments. I also prefer to write them as I don't always properly convey the sentiment verbally. Words from the lips only pass by you once, but those on paper can be reveiewed by the recipient at any time during various states of mind, allowing for a more complete interpretation over time.

The point is - balance. In this instance, I am basing this dialog on the opening audition segments of the last two seasons of AI, specifically targeting January 18/19 and 25/26 2005. What I often hear from the AI judges, and I am taking into account the amount of time they have to comment as well as how the directors may have edited the show, is either an affirmation (sometimes tepid) or some scathing negative comment that is a blow to self-esteem. Let me defend that second point so that I don't come across as TOO touchy feely. If a person is not suited for the particular career they are trying to pursue, and I or someone else is in a position to inform them of that, it should be brought up directly. If you can't sing and it sounds like you have little on the ball in that regard, then not only is it proper for someone in the know to tell you this, but doing so may save you from future disaster. HOWEVER - It is also good practice to offer some positive comments, which could include affirmation of the guts it took for you to be there in the first place, and even a suggestion of something else you might try. Just hearing that you were "probably the worst singer I've ever heard!" and leaving it at that is rather callous. A different approach could still deliver the bad news, but allow for less-bruised feelings and a positive outlook in a different direction. It is obviously not the judges' job to act as a career counselor in the space of a minute, but in the case of non-guest AI judges, I think that some touch-up work could be done on their approach.

Now I'm hearing the show veterans saying, "But Simon is the worst of them!" He is simply the most honest and direct, but he often either demurs from comments if he deems that it would be detrimental to the person, or actually has balanced it at times. I have also seen Randy and Paula give affirmation to singers who were clearly not up to snuff, but sometimes in ridiculing Simon, they end up hurting a contestant even more. Here is an example. On the St. Louis show of January 19, 2005, there was a young lady who attempted Over The Rainbow. It simply did not have any melodic qualities that resembled the original. (This brings up a side point - why do some of the 20,000 or more people at each location who go through phases of audition actually get this far when they clearly should not? I believe it is to provide both contrast and fodder for ridicule, and it is perhaps a process that should be re-thought in the light of who was crushed in the interim, even for an show that is purely entertainment.) Simon did let her know that she was by no means a singer. THEN, he offered the suggestion that she might take her unique voice into work as a voiceover artist. While not elaborated on, this could mean looping for films, radio and television commericals, and a variety of recording possibilities. HOWEVER, Randy and Paula suddenly seized on the idea that it could be in cartoons - quickly latching on to Rug Rats. They essentially told this young girl that her voice was only suitable for cartoons (something that Simon did not imply), then went into the silly discussion about rat voices, blowing this girl off. She was visibly eviscerated when she left the room, and I believe that this incident will have a lasting negative impact on her, given that it was also broadcast on the largest rated show since the final episode of Friends the previous year. Paula and Randy owe her an apology. Simon was honest but not outright cruel, since he offered her an alternative.

In some cases, the contestant reactions are also to blame for the fracas, simply because they are either delusional or are simply so into themselves that they can't see the bigger picture. In those cases, they hear what they want to hear. Earlier in that same show, in fact the first act I believe, there was a set of performing triplets (not within the rules, but certainly unique). Simon commented immediately that they were overweight, which they clearly were. This is not bad. It is fact. Rueben Stoddard aside, who is in a unique niche, most young idols and pop stars are fairly trim (some too much so, but that's a different matter), meaning that image counts along with talent. It may not be entirely just, but it is part of the business. So Simon stated that as both opinion and fact. He also thought the harmonies the three did were nice, therefore positive reinforcement. What did they hear? FAT. Nobody called them fat. The medical term is overweight, and a doctor would have told these three the same thing. But even though that word was not used (at least on TV - I was not there so don't know if it was edited out), the three of them focused on "I can't believe he called us fat!" Ladies, I can't believe you don't know you're deaf. You were not called fat. Simon again told the truth. Touch up on that singing and drop twenty or so pounds each, and I sincerely believe you have the talent to become the next Andrews Sisters in the pop field. I would love to work with such an act.

Admittedly during those two nights, but less so than the previous year, Simon was somewhat rude at times, but never afraid to be honest. Randy is often on the fence, which makes one wonder if he know what he is looking for. I respect his talent, but perhaps it just takes him longer to make a decision and I'm sure he wants to hear more. So he is not dishonest, just undecided. Paula appears to not want to hurt anybody, but will quickly say "no" without much further comment. Perhaps she simply wants to avoid conflict, which is understandable. However, when a better formed opinion is desired as to why the "no" was offered, she needs to lean a little more towards Simon's approach - honest with only minimal ridicule.

The Worst Offenders: You will not like me for this, but I believe that many of the times that Simon offers an opinion of a bad singer that is reinforced with one of his sardonic comments, both are warranted. Where I differ is that I would also try to find the good points, softy that I am. Why do I back Simon? Because some of these people truly have no clue and should not be there until they are even close to competition level. If they are there "just for fun" then they should not take these comments so hard. These people who flash the bird and have little circles in front of their mouth as their profanity-laden anti-Simon speeches are vomited out will hopefully understand that they are simply making the situation worse, particularly when they actually hear what the judges hear when their segment is broadcast. Some will simply not hear it no matter what.

Who are the worst offenders? Frankly, their friends and family. The ones who encouraged them to undertake the audtion in the first place and put forth their unprofessional opinions based on familial ties or avoidance of hurt feelings, or even because they weren't doing an A/B comparison between their singer's voice and one who actually has experience. They build up false hope in these wannabes, when they might better encourage them to either work harder BEFORE they audition, or simply look in a different direction. Some of them might even be lying to their singing friend or family member to avoid conflict. To all of you guilty of this - if you sent this person to the slaughter in front of Simon, Randy and Paula, and they now have a crushed self-esteem, you have a lot of clean up work that you are responsible for. The judges are honest, if a bit cruel at times. Your dishonesty or uniformed opinion is crueler, however. Build them up for what they are and what they can do. They may be ready for Idol in a couple of years after some gigs, singing lessons, etc., or they may never be Idol material. Clearly many of them were far from it, but either they didn't listen or they had nobody around with the guts to tell them. Think about that, wouldja please? Plus, PLEASE record yourself and listen. To the psychic in Las Vegas, whom guest Kenny Loggins noted may have destroyed two careers in one minute: How a good a psychic can you be if you did not have a clue that you could not sing even one pitch correctly? That is honest, not acerbic, and hopefully you can see the dichotomy in that. Also, Idol is about overall image, so whether you agree with it or not, personal appearance beyond simple grooming is a huge factor in the results. Friends and family - same thing - just tell them!

Mary Roach: Now I come to what was clearly the biggest push/pull issue of the Washington D.C. show of January 18, 2005. Out came Mary Roach, an 18-year old from Manassas, Virginia (mere miles from my home) dressed in what some called Gilligan clothing (red shirt, white pants), and performed a very eccentric version of Carole King's I Feel The Earth Move along with a quirky dance. Now I say these things in all honesty, because it was eccentric and quirky. Some believe it was a publicity stunt. I believe it was, in part, Mary's family and friends with bad opinions, and perhaps a great deal of teen-bravado on her part that put her where she was. Simon's reaction was honest and predictable. She was about the 30th or so "worst singer I've ever heard! What ever made you audition for this competition?" Her friends, of course. Randy and Paula were also quite honest. Then Mary had to bring up the voices in her head. Guest judge Mark McGrath took that one up with "What are the voices saying now?" and the situation escalated.

As you might see from the judges' resumes listed up above, Mary did not do her homework because she did not fully understand their qualifications. "What did you ever do?" was her missive to Simon. Randy was shorter (so what) and Paul was prettier (really), and McGrath was hot (it did not sway him to vote for her). It took a while for Mary to be convinced that she would not advance in spite of her "not too shabby" performance. "Mary was less crushed than clearly (excuse me, but it seems appropriate) pissed off royally. She left towards the entrance making it clear that she would never make this mistake again and would just go into her alternate career as a hair stylist. Then during the formal post-interview, only part of it could be broadcast. The directors and producers of the show should also take some blame for public perceptions of Mary, since through clever editing (perhaps often leaving out her better moments) and musical underscore they clearly attempted to focus on her alleged pshychotic tendencies. Boo to Fox for that.

I have been crushed. In earlier years I was, in a couple of singing auditions, in Mary's position, although I actually could sing to a degree (I have done a few CDs in many genres that received positive comment). I just am a better pianist, and obviously have taken that career path to a good degree of success. In any case, I can commiserate with how Mary feels, even if I could not support her reaction to the situation. I can also offer something positive to in deference to from all the fracas that has followed the ill-fated appearance.

Mary Roach, from the standpoint of a professional musician I do not believe you are the worst singer I have ever heard. I believe you are perhaps untrained and unfocused. There are a number of factors that could have been improved, starting with song choice (I had other ideas for your voice qualities) and choreography (which detracts when it is too obvious). If you were simply fooling us, please just tell us. However, if you really wanted to pursue this, I don't believe you are Idol material but I do believe that there are ways for you to improve to make yourself a better singer. This includes having your friends be more truthful to you, and for you to listen to recordings of yourself. I am impressed by the level of self-confidence it took not only to audition, but to do it as boldly as you did. Even if you do not end up in a music career, you have the confidence to do well in any number of related careers. So Mary, if you want honesty with balance and reinforcement from a person with experience, you can write to me directly (with verification of identity for all of you out there who might also try to pull one over on me) at perfbill@hotmail.com. This is a very real offer. And that goes for any of the other contestants who were broadcast during the audition process. Remind me of what you did (i.e. Tomorrow with the elongated finale) and I'll do all I can to respond honestly but constructively. If you were only viewed for a few seconds, that is not fair to me, but if your song went at least 40 seconds to a minute, I can most certainly offer a brief assessment.

Final comment: As the actual competition comes up, I need to comment on the aspect of American Idol that seems to need the most change in order to be effective. While I believe in positive affirmation, and in this case voting for the person or persons you want to keep on the show, I'm not sure that system has been working consistently well. This is obvious in the case of the Hawaiian contestant last year, as she was the only one in that time zone and therefore, with few votes for other contestants during that time block, was able to benefit from a bias of sorts. The volume of people trying to stack the deck for one or another singer through speed dialing or the like also has overloaded the phone system, causing another type of bias during some of the call times since many calls were rejected when parts of the phone system went down in one part of the country but not another during a different time window. The solutions? For starters, if you want to keep it free, vote for the person you want to throw off Idol Island. Yeah, that's rejection, but it is more efficient and will likely generate less in the way of calls. Otherwise, in order to keep it positive, charge something for each call. A quarter, a dime, whatever. Not only will it help the phone company, it will keep many people at bay since they will quickly discover what their 40 calls at a quarter cost them (or their parents). This is not likely to happen, but given that three of the most talented contestants (including the winner) of last season were put in the bottom three and one was voted off, something that clearly irked guest judge Elton John, an incident that was a painfully obvious travesty, something needs to change. Maybe it needs to start with friends and family again. Maybe.

I'm in trouble now, I know it! Next time: The Pledge of Allegiance and those two words.

GO BACK TO WHERE YOU WERE BEFORE YOU GOT HERE

Do you have some thoughts on this topic? Informative or constructive ones are always welcome. If you have any ideas about the voting system or judging, I will collect them and get them directly to American Idol producers at Fox. Overt Hate Mail will not be ignored, but depending on the contents it may be scrutinized and forwarded to the appropriate authorities. You can write to me at perfbill@hotmail.com, but be informed in advance that I may choose to temporarily post some of the letters here unless explicitly asked not to.