Christmas 2004: Greetings to all of my fans and internet users. I am continuing my BLOG (Web Log or virtual diary for newbies), with a Christmas mystery, a rant actually, that I have had for some years. Maybe somebody else in the know can help unravel this with facts of some kind, but for now my research has been largely musical where it should perhaps be social or psychological. The question at hand:

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY NON-CHRISTMAS SONGS PLAYED ONLY AT CHRISTMAS???

OK. This may seem trivial to you, but it's a mystery that bugs me for some reason, thus the rant, and my desire to further investigate this strange assimilation. Let me start by giving some examples of the pieces I am talkin' 'bout, then follow with questions and speculation.

• JINGLE BELLS: The oldest non-Christmas tune of them all!
• SILVER SLEIGH BELLS: E.T. Paull somewhere between Jingle Bells and Sleigh Ride
• WINTER WONDERLAND: Nice song about a walk through the snow.
• LET IT SNOW X3: Blizzardy excuse for quantities of wanton nookie.
• BABY, IT'S COLD OUTSIDE: See Let It Snow.
• SLEIGH RIDE: Sophisticated realization of Jingle Bells.
• A MARSHMALLOW WORLD: Sappy description of icy goo outside.
• MY FAVORITE THINGS: Rogers and Hammerstein classic for thunderstorm jitters.

There are more (really), but you get the gist of what I'm ranting on. Know that I truly, deeply love Christmas and the music that comes with it. All of the different albums that are around, from Manhattan Transfer to Mitch Miller to Brian Setzer to Nat King Cole to Gloria Estefan to Bing Crosby, all have a special place for me.

However... When it's blizzarding outside in early March (as it does here in D.C. and the Northeastern US), and I happen to play Let It Snow somewhere, why do people freak out and say "It ain't Christmas, so what are you playing that for?" Try playing Jingle Bells somewhere in January and see how uncomfortable people get. It's like wearing white in Newport after Labor Day. They just can't handle it. And that, to me, is just plain old weird.

Why? Lets look at some of the pieces. Jingle Bells is purely a winter song. Horses wore sleigh bells in lieu of having a running motor, whistle or horn. When it was snowing, or foggy, or even a nice dense rain, particularly at a time when being a pedestrian was not an option, some kind of warning was required so one would not be pummeled by a team of bob-tailed grays "dashing through the snow." That's what the sleigh bells were for. They were (and in some cases still are) used from whenever it started snowing (sometimes November, sometimes January) through the end of the winter season, often as late as April - some four months after Christmas. Silver Sleigh Bells and Sleigh Ride (originally an instrumental, but still not a Christmas song even with the added lyrics) fall pretty much into the same category, as do pieces like Jolly Jingles.

Let It Snow X3, Baby It's Cold Outside and Winter Wonderland have no mention of Christmas or carolers or Santa or mistletoe or holly or fruitcake, etc. They are songs about an excuse for necking or even carnal activities scheduled as a result of horrendous weather. Since most good blizzards occur in January or February, that would preclude Christmas, not that anybody needs some weather-related excuse to engage in these activities. The songs just highlight this long-standing trapped-with-a-tanalizing-partner fantasy held by many Americans.

OK. The thing they all have in common is winter, or more specifically, SNOW. Big deal. In the U.S. perhaps 30% of the country sees snow in any average winter. I have experienced a few with absolutely no snow here in the Washington, D.C. area, and a few where we were unable to navigate roads for up to 14 days in a single winter. It varies, depending on whether El Niņo or La Niņa is in play, and it is rare to see more than 40% of the country receive even a trace from November through April. Even parts of Canada are pretty dry some years. C-c-c-o-o-l-l-d-d but still dry. Same for Europe. So perhaps people in Texas or Louisiana freak out about the snow thing because of the snow, but they still perplexingly associate it directly with Christmas. How about a White Christmas? Perhaps 10% to 15% of the U.S. in any given year might experience one. But after all, isn't it in January when all the WHITE sales happen?

To further reinforce this contention that these songs should not have a virtual crime scene placed around them when played outside of December, or that they should NOT be called Christmas songs, scan... no, scour the Bible for snow. There may have been a little on Ararat or even Sinai, but rarely if it all. There was no snow at the original nativity. They were too near the equator and it was likely in late March or April. So snow has no correlation with the first Christmas, and that association has become cemented for some reason only in the last century or so.

All right - I'm not immune or quite so innocent either. Sure, I grew up in Southern California, but I was no stranger to snow since we lived perhaps 90 minutes from some great sledding or skiing areas. Even so, Bing had me convinced that I was being cheated out of Christmas as it ought to be every time he sang White Christmas. Then he turned around and reveled in the joys of the same holiday celebrated in Hawaii in Mele Kalikimaka. Suddenly the Osmonds would have me longing to be caroling with them - or at least with Marie - in the Utah snow, while Ernest Tubbs sold me on Christmas Island where the weather is always perfect. Who to trust? Who to believe? It took a while to realize that weather should not have had an affect on Christmas. I have had many White Christmas experiences since, and I have had many top-down driving weather Christmases as well. Don't matter none to me, since it's Jesus' birthday and miracle of his birth that's at hand, not how much snow we get. In fact, I would rather it snow on MY birthday than Christmas, since I could then get a day off or even two.

And how about My Favorite Things? That song is lyrically all over the map. It talks about winter AND spring, raindrops AND snowflakes, and, of course, presents. Hallmark and the wrapping paper industry would be hard pressed to stay in business if the only time we used cards, ribbons and bows was in December. So who launched THAT song as part of the Christmas genre? I can point to Barbara Streisand (doing a Christmas album? Barry Manilow? Neil Diamond? Think about it!) or Diana Ross, since they were the earliest culprits. Herb Alpert was not far behind. My favorite thing could be that this song be associated with The Sound of Music. Just the same, I recall doing it in elementary school on a drizzly December day in the late 1960s, so I was also an unwilling party, a pawn of the music teacher, in this strange association.

Tell you what - on the other side of the coin, are there other songs we COULD associate with Christmas? The Hallelujah Chorus has long made inroads to that regard, even though it's an Easter piece. How about Chevy Chase singing "In my Christmas Bonnet?" That's a classic. Tax Man by George Harrison certainly has some relevance. Could the Durante classic September Song be re-calibrated to December? Shine On Harvest Moon mentions "Snow Time," so why not? Snow Deer Rag by Percy Wenrich? Reindeer by Joe Lamb? There's No Business Like Snow Business?? (Really - try that one out.) Holiday for Strings??? (Isn't it Holiday music?) How about ANY song by singer Hank Snow???? The possibilities are many. We could listen to so-called holiday-related music 8 hours a day from Thanksgiving to the New Year, and rarely repeat a single number.

Well, the weather outside is looking frightful, and your company is so delightful, but I have someplace to go - so PLEASE DON'T SNOW X3. Before I solicit opinions, please know that at no point does my tongue usually leave my cheek (sometimes), and that I am simply curious about and yet flummoxed by this mystery. I will not stop playing these pieces just because they aren't Christmas. For goodness sake, do you think I'd stop playing ragtime in December as well? NO! NO! NO! In any case, have a Holly Jolly Christmas, and perhaps even a white, or green, or burnt umber one at that.